Change — lanie c(reative)

The other day I realized something scary to a Type A planner like myself - the only thing that's constant in life is change. Change is inevitable, but it's something we struggle so hard to resist.

In life we can only look back at the past with certainty. We have no clue what the next day holds despite how much we strive to plan out every single moment. Something unexpected will always happen and deter our original, futile attempt at "plans". But what else can we do? We have no idea what's coming so the only way to cope with the uncertainty is to anticipate and structure our next steps.

My life has been in increments thus far. When you're a kid life is structured by school. You know that next year you'll be in ____ grade with ____ people in _____ town. Nothing really changes. Then you go to college and settle into your routine with classes, and friends, and football, and finals, and summers off.

Then... you graduate. And all of a sudden life hits you in the face. The rug of routine and structure you've had for the last 22 years is pulled out from under your feet and there's just this giant stretch of time sitting in front of you. I used to measure my life in semesters, but not it just seems like an endless string of years with nothing to break them up. It's honestly hard to wrap my mind around, and my structure-loving self is flipping out a little bit.

Life is much more fluid and shifting than I originally imagined. Once my Disney Internship is over and I get a steady job it's going to be week after week of working 9 to 5. It's incredibly overwhelming to think that this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life. I know I need to take it step by step, but without my semester by semester schedule I'm entirely unsure of how to go about this.

Restructuring the way I look at life is one of the biggest mental challenges I've experienced and I hope that I'll find a way to figure this next step of life out. The post-grad side of things is much more different than I originally thought, and I have a feeling things are only going to continue to get more and more confusing. Here's hoping I can embrace the changes and learn to roll with whatever life throws at me next.

When I think about Clemson I think about love. The people, the campus, the athletics, the town, the history, the traditions... everything about this place makes my heart so, so happy. It sounds super cheesy, but every day I spent as a Clemson student was a dream come true.

I honestly don't know how to explain the overwhelming feeling that fills me up every time I walk on campus. I'm just filled with joy and awe that I got to spend three years living, learning, and making countless memories in this little college town. I met people and took classes that challenged and inspired me in the best way, and grew into a person that the 18 year old me wouldn't even recognize. Most days I couldn't wipe the smile off my face while walking from class to class admiring the beauty of my school and thinking about how darn lucky I was to be there.

Clemson absolutely changed my life for the better in a million and one ways. I became an English major and discovered my passion for writing. I took classes and met professors that pushed me to be my absolute best. I studied abroad and had an incredible time exploring Europe with my fellow Clemson students. I affiliated with my sorority which gave me some of my best friends/sisters. I fell in love with fitness and became a Zumba instructor, a position that pushed me physically and taught me so much about leadership. I spent three amazing football seasons cheering for my Tigers like a crazy person and got to experience some incredible games. I met people who will be my best friends for the rest of my life.

I will walk across that stage today with my head held high, and more love and pride in my heart than I know what to do with. It's so hard to close this chapter, but I have peace of mind knowing how blessed I am to have been even a small part of this wonderful university. It's all thanks to my Great-Grandpa who started our family's Clemson tradition back in 1919. Hopefully one day I'll get the chance to thank him for inadvertently leading me to this special place.

It breaks my heart that college has to end and that I can't just be Clemson student for the rest of my life. However, I know that Clemson will always be a part of me and that I'll forever be proud to call myself an alumni of this university. The absolute adoration I have for this place will never go away and I'll be back as much as possible. While my path may take me away from Clemson, a big piece of my heart will always remain in this special place. There really is something in these hills... Go Tigers!